The truth is, whatever happens in the bedroom actually starts well before then. For good intimacy, you need to have a good foundation in your relationship. Things such as trust, good communication, honesty, and so forth are all really important parts of spicing up the bedroom. So if things in your relationship are not quite how you’d like them, or haven’t been reaching their potential lately, don’t worry! There are some easy ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Keep reading to learn more.
1. Work On Intimacy
One of the best things you can do to spice things up is to work on your intimacy. One way that you can do this is by getting to know each other on a deeper level. This might look like asking questions about their childhood, what their values are, dreams they’ve had that they haven’t achieved, what they were like when they were small and so on. Asking these deeper questions allows you to get to know your partner one a deeper level which increases emotional intimacy which can make sex a lot more enjoyable for both of you. Intimacy is something you have to work on continuously. You can even use things like Nyotaimori to spice things up a little. It can be worthwhile reading some books together too, many couples therapists have some great books out there. You can learn about each others love languages to get to a deeper level of connection. You can also read books like Love and Respect to learn about what speaks more deeply to a man’s soul or a woman’s heart. The more you learn, the more you can improve the intimacy and connection you have with your partner.
2. Improve Your Communication
No matter how good your communication skills are, there is always room from improvement. Are you a good listener? Or do you listen to reply? Making people feel truly heard is such a great way to make someone feel valued. Having open conversations where you regularly problem-solve together can help prevent smaller issues from becoming bigger issues in time with a lot of resentment. It can help you work through problems together and when you’re communicating well in daily life, that flows into the bedroom too as you’ll feel more confident about asking for what you prefer and knowing that your partner wants to give it to you. Whether it’s asking to change to cowgirl position, or saying you’d like it harder, being confident in communicating with your partner can make a world of difference. So many problems couples experience is down to poor communication and getting stuck in poor communication cycles. If you can improve your communication, almost every area of your lives together will improve.
3. Play With Your Senses
Most of us have sex in the same way every time. We’re either lights on or off people, we have our favourite positions, and after a number of years being intimate together, it can feel a bit rehearsed and even forced. Intentionally playing with your senses and changing things up can make a world of difference. You can try blindfolds, being tied up, in the dark, in the lights, candles, flavors… whatever you can think of to make things differently. The more you involve your senses, the more intense things might be. It can be a great way to have mind blowing and memorable sex! You can play with your senses before you even get to the bedroom by enjoying a lovely meal together, or a delicious platter. Maybe you can enjoy some delicious wine or alcohol, and enjoy trying new things together before enjoying each other fully.
4. Change it Up
If you have a position you love and tend to ‘go to’ all the time, why not try something new. You can bring in toys and see what you like. Different types of lubes, videos, whatever you want to get you and your partner better in the mood. You could even film yourselves together and watch it later. You can send sexy photos during the day to get the excitement going… Just think of new ways you can make things feel different. There are even sex games like dice with fun ideas of things you can do and dares. Getting creative with intimacy can add in a new flavor to the mix and make things really enjoyable. Maybe you can even bring someone else into the bedroom – if it’s something you’ve been thinking about, checking out these threesome positions that might work for you.
It can be really challenging to keep things feeling really interesting and fresh when you’re together a long time. However improved intimacy and communication can deepen your connection which can positively impact your sex life, too. It can also be worthwhile trying new things, and exploring how your senses can influence your overall pleasure and enjoyment.